Look At Them | March Self Portrait

The past few weeks my heart has been drawn toward my girls in a fresh way.
And I struggle to write this because platitudes comes so easily.
Honesty matters.

But this week, I kept thinking.
Look at your kids.
Look at them? Point my eyes at them?
Why. What exactly do they need from me?

Can someone please tell me if you ever stop feeling new on the job with motherhood?
Almost seven years in now. It’s taken me a while to adjust.
Every day my children teach me how little I know,
how everything I say to them, I should turn around and say to myself.

Daily life feels insignificant, but days have a way of stacking up.
To me, pointing my eyes means pointing my heart.

They need to know my heart is with them.
That I like them. They matter, and they are heard.

I took this photo today at 4 p.m. in the midst of a lazy Saturday.
Still wearing the previous night’s clothing, no shower or makeup.
If you look closely, you can see that red mark on my chin.
I was tickling Eden a couple nights ago on the couch, and stabbed myself in the face. Bled for hours.
Who cares.
This month I felt increased urgency and focus in my role as a mother.
Look at them.
So I looked
and when I did, something came up through my eyes and moved deep into them.
They probably didn’t understand it, but I could tell they felt it.
I felt it too. It was love.

VIEW PREVIOUS:
Layers for Days: January Self Portrait
Red Lips: February Self Portrait
2013 Self Portrait Series

Abby Anderson is a Wedding and Portrait Photographer in Fargo, ND + Moorhead, MN.
Visit the Studio A Photo website here